Memories Last Forever
by Eleni911
Summary: Blood Promise, both Dimitri and Rose's pov, begins in the caves. He is a strigoi now but what happens when he finds out Rose's life is in danger? READ AND REVIEW PLEASE!
1. The Caves

**I do not own Vampire Academy.**

**This story was originaly meant to be a one shot but I grew curious and decided to continue, let me know how I'm doing and what you think.**

We were nearing the exit, I could see the others…I could see her. Relief lit up her expression, just a few more steps and I'll be able to join her. To hold her, thank god she got out of this alive. Just a little farther, we were so close…

There was a strangled scream near by; I had no time to look. I just ran. Everything was happening so fast. I only saw her now… I had to get to her. That's when he grabbed me from behind, I hadn't seen him coming. It was a blonde Strigoi; he had me down in a second. If it weren't for the element of surprise, he wouldn't have been so much of a problem.

I fought against him, strength against strength. I had to break free, to run to her… he looked me straight in the eye and with a wicked smile he sank his fangs into my neck. Pain shot through my body. I felt him release but that did not end the pain. He was looking towards the cave opening now, towards my Roza. That's when I heard another scream… but this one made my heart sink, it hurt more than anything. It was her scream… I tried to stand but I couldn't move. I had to get to her somehow, to tell her it was going to be ok… that she wouldn't go crazy; I was supposed to be around to take care of her, to keep her from loosing her mind.

I lifted my head a little but I couldn't see her, it was chaos, my ears were ringing and I couldn't shake away this horrible pain, that's when I saw _him _again. His red rimmed eyes.

"Roza…" I whispered… everything went black.


	2. Rude Awakening

The first thing I noticed was the thirst. I'm not even sure if it can be described as thirst. It was worse than any pain I have ever felt or imagined, as if my throat had caught fire. I needed to make it stop, to make the pain go away. I wanted to tear my throat apart to stop the fire, to claw at it until there was nothing left. That's when I noticed my arms were chained behind my back. I blinked, trying to focus on my surroundings.

"You'll get used to it."

I glanced up into the eyes of the blonde strigoi, the one who had taken me away from…her. A sudden surge of hatred overpowered me. At that moment I wanted nothing more than to see him dead…but worse, I wanted to consume him, to drink every last drop of his evil blood. Nothing would thrill me more then to rip his stupid, little blonde head off. I let out an unintentional whimper. The burning sensation only seemed to be growing. He let out a sadistic chuckle.

"We all had to go through it, some worse than others. It's only like this for the first few weeks, and then it'll decrease. You'll still feel it and it will always burn but not as intensely as it does now. Only blood numbs the pain."

He pulled up a chair and sat in front of me. It was at this point that I realized that I was sitting in a small room. I had almost been certain that we were still in the cave. The blonde waited for what he had just said to sink in. I was a strigoi now…I could never be with Rose now. Not like this. We had finally worked everything out. I finally had her…only to have her along with everything else I've ever cared about ripped away from me in a matter of a few minutes. Why had I waited so long to act on my feelings? We could've had more time…I'm such an idiot. A few Russian curse words bounced around my head and I flinched at the memories of her begging me to teach her their meanings that flooded my mind.

I looked back at the strigoi who had changed me. He was still staring at me; an amused look had crossed his face. He'd better be thanking the lord that I'm chained to this chair right now, I'd be sure to wipe that look smirk clear off his face.

"She was your lover."

The words caught me by surprise. Was our love that obvious? He chuckled again at my expression.

"The look on both of your faces said it all." He replied. I opened my mouth to speak but only managed a small squeak. He ignored my pathetic attempt of speech.

"I knew her, she used to hang around that Dragomir girl. Rose, wasn't it?"

I flinched again at her name, my roza. I'll never be able to hold her again. I glared back up at him, trying to hide my emotions and the burning pain.

"Hm? I thought that was it, Or was it Lilly or something because I know it was some kind of flower."

His expression turned mocking and I could see that grin crawling back onto his face, I looked away again. She could never love me when I'm…well like this. I was a monster now, an undead blood sucking monster. I made another attempt of speaking, this time I was victorious.

"Why am I chained up? I'm one of you guys now." I made no attempt of hiding the disgust in my voice.

"Simple enough, it's for my safety as much as it is for yours."

When I didn't say anything he continued.

"There's never anyway of knowing how hard the thirst may hit a newly awakened strigoi. I know if my creator hadn't restrained me I might've ripped open my own throat. As for my safety being concerned, well I could pretty much imagine your hatred towards me at the moment. Those awakened by force tend to rebel."

That made all the sense in the world and I immediately scolded myself for asking such a stupid question.

"Oh, how careless of me, here I am blabbing away and I haven't even had the decency to introduce myself, my name is John Shebat, and yours is?"

He waited for my answer and I debated whether I should even give him one.

"Or I could just call you 'tall Russian guy' for the next several weeks. Hey, whatever floats your boat man, who am I to judge?" His grin was wider than ever, and I see now that I had clearly misjudged his years, he seemed younger than I had thought him to be, maybe just a few years older than Rose. I looked away as I spoke.

"Dimitri…" that was all he was going to get from me today, he was definitely beginning to piss me off. My patience was wearing thin, and I'm sure he must have noticed too because his expression and tone suddenly grew serious. His next few words caught me entirely by surprise.

"She'll come after you, Dimitri."

I froze, as if the words themselves had stabbed me in the heart. Realization along with guilt slowly began to sink in. He was right, if I knew my Rose the way I've always claimed I had, she was probably hunting me down, silver steak in hand even as we speak. She'd feel as if she'd owe me that much. This is all my fault, if she leaves the school and Lisa now, she'll never be a guardian, the wonderful, dedicated guardian we all knew she was destined to become. She'll be throwing her entire life away…for me. I know she can never love me as I am now, I wouldn't even love myself as I am now. I am the one thing she has trained her entire life to destroy, the one thing that I had trained her to destroy.

My heart sank as countless memories flashed through my thoughts, memories of her working hard to steak the dummies in the gym, of her complaints, her beautiful long hair floating behind her as she jogged around the gym. I remembered how just a few days ago she'd taken me down for the first time during the field exam, memories of the cabin. I remember when I first met her; even then there was something about her that had sparked my interest. I bit my lip and tried to fight back tears, the last thing I wanted right now was for my enemy to see me cry. But suddenly it didn't seem to matter anymore. I didn't care what John thought of me. He'll be dead soon anyway. I'll make sure of that.

Rose… she has every right to want to kill me; she knows that's what I would've wanted. If she finds me, then I will let her do what she has come to do. Then she could properly mourn my passing and continue her own life… she has so much more to live for, she's too young to throw that all away.

_ I can't wait to see your face again…my last memories will be of you, my beautiful Roza._


	3. Impossible Things Are Happening Everyday

**Ok, people you have to let me know how I'm doing here? Am I being to dramatic here? Does it suck??? Should I continue or did I kill it?**

**All you have to do is leave one little Review, telling me what you think. Won't take to long. Eh? **

I was in my hometown, back in Russia. It felt great to be back home; the only thing that I needed for this moment to be perfect was her, my Roza.

"Hey Comrade," I froze at the sound of her voice, it couldn't be. Now I was hearing voices. Oh great just another thing to add on to my problems, like I didn't have enough on my mind already. Now I had to worry about the possibility of being a schizophrenic strigoi. Story of my life, I continued what I was doing and then I heard it again.

"Dimitri..." this time I glanced up in the direction her voice had come from. I couldn't believe it, there she was, standing at the doorway. She wore jeans and a tang top and the sunlight illuminated her beautiful features.

She smiled a sad smile…and stepped inside. She was like an angel.

"I-I really wish I didn't have to do this…I wish there could be another way. I keep telling myself that it's what you would've wanted…" tears were spilling past her cheeks now. I needed to comfort her, I knew what she had come to do and I was ready for her to do it. I walked over to her cautiously; she staggered back a little at first but stayed in place none the less.

That's when I noticed something, her stomach was bigger. I froze once again. Millions of different notions flooded my head. Well of course she disserved the right to move on after I had…left. I just thought she'd wait awhile… it's probably Adrian's. That filthy son of a bitch I'll kill him.

She noticed my surprise and stopped me before I could accuse her of anything.

"It's yours…" she sniffed as I gaped at her. She was pregnant… and I had made her that way… I could see it in her eyes she wasn't lying. Well unless our time apart had made her a much better actress, which I doubted was the case. She wouldn't lie about something like this. It was just very hard to believe…dhampires weren't able to have children with each other. It was in the genes…unheard of, impossible.

"I was surprised too…" she replied with another sniff. She stared at me for a few minutes…I swear it was as if those eyes could look into my soul, provided I still had a soul.

"I thought I had run out of tears…" she sobbed suddenly, closing the remainder of the distance between us. She had been holding it all in. I flung my arms around her instantly, resisting the sudden urge to bite into her neck. The scent of her blood was heavy in my nostrils. I had no idea how hard it could be to ignore. But I pushed all of that to the back of my mind. She was all that mattered now.

I held on to her like there was no tomorrow. Hell, there probably wouldn't be. There must be a way we could make things work out. I could hold myself back, the thirst isn't so bad. Maybe I could just lay off the humans. Take only a certain amount without killing off the feeder. Only I knew that was nearly impossible. Once you started you needed more. It was never enough, one after the other…I was a monster. _Impossible_…there's that word again, _impossible_.

I paused the argument that was going on inside my head and looked down at Rose. She clung onto me, sobbing into my shirt. I had always believed ghosts to be impossible, as well as to dhampires conceiving. That was always believed to be impossible. I'd never thought I'd be holding her in my arms again, yet here she was. Maybe Rose and I could find a way, a way that didn't involve awakening her. It's not impossible, nothing in this world is. My only fear is what if I'm wrong? I might end up killing her and the baby if I failed. I shivered and pushed that thought away. No, I wouldn't fail. I could never do that to Rose. I had to be there for her, to help and support her. I no longer wished for her to kill me.

That's when I felt the stab. I heard a piercing shriek…the same shriek I heard that day in the caves, her shriek. I looked back down at Rose. She had done it. She had accomplished the goal she had set out to achieve; she sank down to her knees holding my limp body. My head was now in her lap and she was stroking my hair. The steak hadn't gone in completely but there was no recovering from a wound like this. Rose knew that too. I was amazed I wasn't completely gone yet.

"I'm so, so sorry Dimitri! I'm sorry! I love you so much!" I reached out to her, even in my last moments I just needed to comfort her.

"You can sum up in one sentence what it takes me a whole speech to get out." I smiled as my hand caressed her cheek and wiped a few of her tears away.

"Roza…I" I woke up with a large sob. I snapped back to reality, I was back in the same small room I've been in since I'd been awakened.

This time the dream even had sunlight! How do I always fall for it!

This had been my third Rose dream this week…and it was only Tuesday. They just feel so real. I sighed as I let my mind linger on the part of the dream that I had held on to her.

Boy, do I need a psychiatrist. Do they even have strigoi psychiatrists?

**JUST CLICK THE GREEN BUTTON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**


	4. The Long and Winding Road

**Wow people thanks for the reviews, I have alot of ideas on how to continue the story. So I still need you guys to review and let me know how I'm doing. Thanks.**

**_This chapter is set the day before Rose leaves the Academy._**

Rose's P.O.V.

I woke up crying again…this was my third Dimitri dream this week…and it's only Tuesday! Maybe I should go talk to Dr. what's her face. She'll probably just ask me questions that basically have nothing to do with the reason I'm actually there! She might just ask me how I feel about the dreams rather than prescribing something that might actually help me get rid of them. What kind of psychiatrist actually does that? I mean Hello! This is America!!!

Why the hell am I always pregnant in the dreams anyway? It's not like that's even possible.

I sighed…oh Dimitri, you have no idea how much I miss you…how much I need you to hold me right now.

I shook those thoughts away, this isn't the same Dimitri…I want the old dhampire guardian I loved… he's not the same Dimitri I have to kill over and over again in my dreams. The thing I have to kill will probably try to kill me before I even get near him… it wouldn't surprise me if he's forgotten all about me by now.

It's been nearly a week since the attack. Just one more day till I turn 18…one more day till I could go after him, even if it hurts like hell I know I have to do it. It's what he would've wanted; I had to keep my promise…

I have to go talk to someone…not just anyone. I had to talk to Adrian.

_***READ CHAPTER 29 OF SHADOW KISS***_

*_Fast Forward_*

Turning away, I stared at_ the long road winding _off ahead of me. I sighed. This trip might take awhile.

"Then start walking, Rose." I muttered to myself.

I set off to kill the man I loved. My thoughts returned to my tarot card reading... I will destroy what is undead.


	5. Realization

**Remember people, let me know how I'm doing. What do you think? Is it great, good, ok, sucks? **

**Review and let me know.**

"You ready for your daily dose of blood?" I nearly jumped up at the sound of John's voice.

I hadn't heard him come in. I let out a small sigh, I hated this part of the day but I also loved it. That's just sick isn't it?

I sat there, still chained as he brought me a large bag filled with moroi blood. It started out with human blood, then dhampire…and now this. I could tell each apart already by smell alone. I've even had a small dose of strigoi blood. I shivered, but what was worse was that I loved it all. I wanted more…I always wanted more. Not only did it numb the pain and thirst but it was delicious.

I was a blood sucking parasite, disgusting. I didn't want any at first… I was prepared to die from the pain before giving in. John shoved it down my throat and after that first taste…I just couldn't fight it. I'm horrible. I shivered again. After I had sucked the bag dry, I glared up at where John stood.

"So, how long do you plan on keeping me chained up? Still afraid of me?"

He smiled. "I'll let you go as soon as I stop getting that 'I want to strangle him' vibe from you,"

I sighed, guess he still thought I'd turn on him. I'm not saying he's wrong of course. I'd kill to get out of these chains.

I chuckled at my choice of words. John seemed to be under the impression that it had been something he said.

"Don't get me wrong, I could take you down, I have before." He stayed quiet for awhile and I had already begun to tune out his presence like I had been doing for these past few weeks. But his next few words surprised me, and it usually takes quite a lot to surprise me.

"I need you." I looked back up at him; he had a suspicious glint in his eyes.

"What the hell do you need me for? You've already ruined my entire life."

His grin widened. "Yeah, sorry about that, nothing personal of course…besides it's not so bad, I gave you immortality"

What good is immortality when you have no one to share it with? I glared up at him, careful not to break eye contact.

"It was personal to me." I spat out.

I've had about enough of this guy's crap. I mean how the hell can he seriously expect me not to turn on him, when he continues fucking around with me this way? I was usually able to contain my feelings…now it seemed impossible. My temper has been a lot shorter since I've awakened and I wasn't sure if that had to do with being a strigoi or just everything I had been through.

"You're the key, what I need to capture that Dragomir girl."

I just sat there gawking at him for a few moments. How the hell was I going to help him capture Lisa?

"What do you,-"The answer slammed me hard across the face before the question had time to form completely.

He was going to use Rose! Lisa would probably willingly walk into the hands of any strigoi if Rose's safety was concerned, as would Rose if the tables were turned.

I was the bait to lure in the bait. He was using me to get his dirty hands on Rose! If she did come to kill me, he planned to capture her, probably allowing her to kill me first. If that happens…she'd be alone. He'd torture her, do god knows what… Rose had already suffered enough at the hands of strigoi. I wasn't about to let her walk right into his clutches!

John let out a sadistic chuckle; he knew I had figured it out.

I had to get out of here, to find some way to warn her.


	6. Desperate But Not Hopeless

I needed an escape plan, because I seriously didn't see John letting me loose any time soon. I was going to have to do this on my own. Many different scenarios ran through my head. Maybe I could make a break for it during one of my bathroom trips? Though those chances seemed slim, bathroom breaks were heavily guarded.

Although I hardly saw much of them, John did have his lackeys and most bathroom trips consisted of at least 4 armed strigoi. The bathroom was tiny and had no door, and as uncomfortable as it was they barely ever let their guards down.

I've tried to maintain simple conversations with them every so often but I'm usually either shushed or ignored. I didn't see myself gaining any of their trust for the time being, and I'm sure they've all been warned not to speak to me.

Recently, I've been keeping myself more observant and alert. Before I hadn't really cared about anything that was happening around me, every thing was a blur and I had just given up but now that had all changed. Now I had a purpose, to keep her safe, but I couldn't very much do that from here… or could I? A random thought had begun to grow…the dreams.

What if I've been having them for a reason? It was a crazy idea but I was desperate. The only plan my mind could muster at the moment and anything was worth a shot.

Maybe some things weren't as impossible as they seemed…


	7. Sweet Dreams Are Made of These

**Please Review and let me know what you think. Do you like the way the story is progressing? **

**Should I keep writing????**

This time I was completely aware that I was dreaming. I forced myself to stay alert and remember what my intentions were; I couldn't afford to be distracted, but as I took in the scenery my heart ached.

I was standing in the cabin. Memories of the night before the attack invaded my mind…the night before she and everything I had ever lived for were taken away from me.

A mixture of anger and sorrow began to swirl in my chest…two things that I had been feeling a lot of lately. I sank to my knees besides the bed and I did something I had also been doing a lot of lately. I wept. I was used to having such a firm control over all of my emotions but ever since I'd been awakened every small feeling seemed to magnify.

It's strange how real these dreams seemed to be, if I didn't know any better I'd say they were actually happening. Hell, I had been completely convinced in all of my previous Rose dreams. The door creaked as it opened, and I glanced towards the doorway. There she stood, wearing the exact same thing she had worn that night.

I wanted to hold her tight and never let her go, that's when I saw her stomach again. Like all of the previous dreams, she was pregnant. I couldn't understand what that meant? Could she actually be pregnant in real life? Or was it just simple proof that this was only a dream and that I had been over my head?

I stood promptly and wiped away any remaining tears. I felt weak crying in front of her; even if this did just turn out to be a dream I couldn't let her see me cry.

She seemed a bit shocked and I wasn't sure if it was at the sight of me or just the surroundings. She was crying to as she met my gaze.

"We both know how this will end." She bit her lip to hold back a small sob.

She was right; all of these dreams ended the same way.

Suddenly, something clicked. This was a dream… I couldn't let myself be distracted any longer.

"Rose" I said sternly, she looked into my eyes. "Don't come after me, I need you to go back to Lisa, to keep her safe…to keep yourself safe."

She appeared dumbfounded for a few seconds.

"The real Dimitri would've wanted me to do this…" she replied stubbornly.

I shook my head. "Under normal circumstances I would've looked forward to you ending my life…or existence. But not when it puts both you and Lisa in danger. Roza, I need you to listen carefully."

She had already taken out her steak. "Your not the real Dimitri… not the Dimitri I loved." She began to approach me; as much as I wanted to close in the distance I couldn't let her kill me. Not without warning her first.

"Roza, you don't understand. The blonde strigoi from the caves…he has me chained up somewhere, he's trying to lure you to him. He wants to use you to get Lisa." I had said all of that in one breath so I was breathing a little heavily.

"What?" she asked, confusion crossing her beautiful face.

"Believe me Rose…you have too." I was near begging point now, ready to sink back to my knees and plead for her trust, even if it was only a little.

She seemed to be at a loss for words, which was rare for her. It reminded me the first time I had met her. When Kirova had threatened to expel her and I had jumped to her defense. Even then there had been about her that had me intruiged. She seemed to be such a determined novice…she is a determined guardian. I wasn't sure when along the line I had begun to develop feelings for her.

"You're…you're lying." Her words brought me back to reality. "Your just trying to use his memories against me…your trying to catch me off guard so you can…" she paused and stared into my eyes. She wanted to believe I hadn't changed, that I still had some humanity left.

It hurt to have her confirm all of my fears and doubts about myself. Maybe I really was a monster now. No, if I was a monster, I wouldn't be able to care about her…I wouldn't have doubts I'd just kill like all the others. I wasn't gone yet, at least not completely. I had to save her.

Although it took almost all I had not to break down in front of her, to tell her everything I had gone through. How I sat awake every day thinking about the times we shared in this same exact cabin. I was just about to tell her…to cry to her. A few escape teardrops rolled down my cheeks.

She must have seen them too because she dropped her steak and sank to her knees. I darted over to her and held her against my chest.

"Oh…Roza, I've missed you so much, it's been torture."

"Me too." She replied in a faint whisper.

I wasn't sure if she actually believed me or not but at the moment it didn't seem to matter. I was the happiest I've been in weeks, just to have her in my arms once more.

That's when she began to fade, my time was up.

"Believe me" I managed to say before I was snapped awake. I opened my eyes only to be met by John's ugly face.

I longed to be back in the dream again, even if I had to be killed 100 more times, just seeing her makes it worth dyeing repeatedly. Although this had been the first dream I hadn't been killed in.

Maybe it would work… maybe by some miracle she actually had heard me and our dreams were connected. But for now I couldn't rely on that. I still needed to come up with a stable escape plan.

**

* * *

**

Rose's POV

I was alone again…in the cabin. He had faded away before I was able to kill him. I don't think I was going to though.

I was completely aware that I was dreaming now, before I hadn't been completely sure. I picked up the steak and walked over to the bed. I had to sit down for awhile. I wiped away the tears and hugged the pillow.

I wasn't sure if he had been telling the truth, I mean it made complete sense but…he was strigoi now. He's changed and even though I want to believe he was still the man I loved…he was one of them.

I had been taught to kill them all of my life. He had taught me to kill them… he would want me to kill him. He had said it himself.

I sobbed into the pillow for a few minutes, memories of that night fully engulfed me. He had promised he wouldn't let anything happen to me... I had also promised the same in return. I couldn't keep that promise... at the end I could only stand there and watch as he was taken down. I wouldn't fail him again. I couldn't...I had to be strong, but part of me only wanted to stay here and cry my eyes out some more. What if he really was trying to warn me just now. I quickly dismissed the thought as just a dream. My subconcious mind still wants to believe he's still the same old Dimitri.

I heard a soft cough. Someone was here. I glanced up, part of me hoping it was him again.

"Hello little dhampire," a sad smile crossed Adrian's face.

"What are you doing here?" I asked almost defensively, I wondered for a slight second if it would do him any real damage if I killed him in the dream, I dismissed this thought aswell. Adrian was helping me, he didn't mean to intrude he was just trying to check up on me.

"How've you been? Are you in the hotel room I booked for you?"

I nodded. "I'm fine…"

He shook his head, "You don't look fine to me," he replied as he sat down next to me.

I began to turn towards him, to meet him in the eyes when he gasped.

"What?" I asked, surprised by his expression.

"You're pregnant? How?" he still sat there, his mouth wide opened.

I looked down at the large bump in my stomach then looked back up at him.

"No, I… I just keep showing up this way in my dreams, I'm not sure what it means."

His expression didn't seem to change; he continued gaping at me for a few more minutes.

"Rose…tomorrow, I want you to stop by a pharmacy. Buy a pregnancy test and let me know the result." I had never seen him so serious in my life. I saw concern and a small hint of jealousy in his eyes, but the shock overweighed all.

"I don't think that's it, I mean it can't be…I only had sex once." I spoke my thoughts out loud and had to overcome the urge to slap myself for letting it slip.

"When and who?" he asked.

"None of your business," I replied, who was he to try to butt into my love life.

"Little dhampire, I am trying to help you. Answer the question."

I thought about it for a few minutes…Adrian had helped a lot, without him I'd have no money and I'd probably be sleeping somewhere on the streets right now. I knew he cared about me, even if he was annoying at times.

"It's impossible..." I began but then answered the question. "Dimitri…the night before the attack," I stopped and looked around the cabin again. It had been right here. Tears were overflowing again and I buried my face into my pillow.

He pulled me towards him and hugged me. I didn't fight against him, I cried into his shirt for several more minutes before he spoke, trying to imagine he was Dimitri.

"It's ok, little dhampire…we'll get through this. Tomorrow I need you to do what I told you and then call me with the result." I nodded.

This couldn't be happening…it had to just be some sort of coincidence. Dhampires couldn't conceive with each other, it was impossible.

Adrian pulled away then. His face was filled with sadness and compassion. I felt like a jerk for taking advantage of him this way, the only reason he had given me money was because of his infatuation with me.

"Get some sleep, little dhampire." He faded away and so did the cabin. I had no more dreams after that just total blackness.


	8. Author's Note

**So, what do you think will happen next???? I'm still debating the answer myself, I have a few ideas but I'm still not so sure.**

**Got any complaints or compliments? I'd love to hear them. I get really nervous when I post cause I'm always wondering if you guys will like it or not, but I can't very much know unless you REVIEW!!! Lol **

**Also if you have any suggestions on how you'd like to see the story progress, post them in a review. **

**I might not use them but they might give me a few ideas for the story along the line. Please and Thankyou. =)**

**-Eleni aka Wolfgirl11**


	9. Over And Over Again

Any second now, John will walk through those doors, holding the blood bag. I knew his schedule like I knew the back of my hand. Not that I've even seen much of the back of my hand lately. The moment was nearing, I could feel it. It's just sick how much I anticipate this time of the day.

The door swung open and I was ready to look into my captor's eyes. But to my surprise it wasn't him. A small redhead walked into the room holding the familiar bag of blood. She held a shocking resemblance to Rose's mother, minus the short hair and of course this was a strigoi.

Shit, no John? He's always been the only one who fed me. Not that I was complaining, I hate his guts and I was more than glad he wasn't here, it just seemed…I don't know strange.

I shook the doubts from my mind; there was no time to question this. If I planned to gain her trust, this may be my only chance.

"Where's John?" I asked, as she approached me holding my breakfast. Hey, it was the only conversation starter I could think off.

She smiled, and pushed some hair out of her face with her free hand.

"Uh, he'll be busy for awhile. He's asked me to take over for the next few days."

I stifled a sigh of relief, though my expression must have given me away because she giggled.

"John's not exactly the nicest person in the world, but he's an ok leader once you get used to him."

I shook my head, I could already smell the blood and it took almost everything I had not to seem desperate.

"I've tried to convince him to let you loose. The only way to gain someone's respect is to treat them with respect…its horrible the way their keeping you." She continued, those words surprised me; obviously she hadn't been updated on his plan to lure Rose…unless she was just trying to hide that information.

Her red rimmed eyes were full of sadness as she spoke her next words.

"I remember how it was when I was awakened…it was by force too. I heard about your girlfriend…it reminded me off him." Tears were drifting down her cheek now.

She was talking about Rose! Right when I was about to question her, she blinked and glanced down to her hand.

"Oh, crap sorry I forgot." She closed in the remaining distance between my lips and the blood, and all my worries were momentarily forgotten. It was almost like getting drunk off blood. It soothed my throat- which was still a little sore from the awakening- and the thirst. Almost as soon as I had started the pouch was empty. I yearned for more.

"Uh, can I have some more?" I felt a little like Oliver Twist. Begging for more food…John would just laugh in my face but she gave me a warm, knowing smile.

"It won't stop the thirst; you'll just be left wanting more…just like you are now. The more you drink the more you want. I'm sure you've noticed by now?"

I nodded as she threw away the empty pouch in the garbage can.

"So, I guess I'll see you at your next serving." She replied, nearing the door.

I didn't want her to go; I hadn't had anyone talk to me this way,(like I was an actual person and not some animal) since before I'd been awakened. It almost made me feel…normal.

"Wait!" I called out before the door closed completely; she backed in giving me a curious glance. "What's your name?"

Her cheeks turned a deep shade of red. "Oh I'm sorry! I didn't even introduce myself. I'm Satchel, Satchel Gellantra."

"Nice to meet you, Ms Gellantra" I replied.

"No need to be so formal, just call me Satchel. And you are?"

"Dimitri."

She smiled. "Nice to meet you Mr. Dimitri." She let out a small giggle as the door closed behind her.

I still needed to find a way to gain her trust and have her let me loose. Though it didn't seem too hard, I had barely even talked and she already seemed to trust me.

I had to remember, I couldn't let my guard down …she was one of them. John might've just sent her to try to squeeze information out of me. The old good cop bad cop routine. Even if I do gain her trust…I can't let her gain mine. Rose is the only one who matters now and I needed to find a way to keep her safe.

I repeated that last sentence to myself. Over and over again, I couldn't let my guard down.

**Review please!!!!! What do you think about this chapter? What about Satchel? **


	10. Promise

**_Author's Note. I've updated this chapter, big time._**

**I'm sorry my chapters all tend to be on the short side. I try to update as frequently as possible but I don't always have the time to make them as long as I'd like them to be so I try to keep them simple.**

**Also I know most of you aren't so keen on the idea of Rose being pregnant. I'm sorry but try to stick with me on this one, I have alot of different ideas on how I'd like to continue the story and though I'm not even compleatly sure how it will end yet, I hope you guys won't be dissapointed.**

**Review and let me know what you think please? **

**Rose's POV**

How can this even be happening?!

I tossed the small stick into the trash can and quickly reached for another package, tearing it open in the process. Maybe I'll have better luck with First Response because the last two didn't seem to be working properly…I mean home pregnancy tests could be wrong, right? It's all in the brand.

This one was see-through, only making me all the more nervous. So as much as I wanted to watch my urine run through the entire test kit, I'd have to decline. Instead of holding on to it, I just placed it on the sink and sat back on the bed. I was in the hotel room that Adrian had booked me. At first I had tried to keep a daylight schedule but it had proven difficult. So I've managed to keep myself some where in between. Waking up in the afternoon and staying up till early morning felt so much better.

My thoughts continued drifting back to the pregnancy test; it should be about time to check it. My heart was about to leap out of my chest at any moment…this was it. If this one came out positive, it had to be true. No matter how impossible it all seemed. Everything I had known to be true my entire life was changing. I took a deep breath and walked back into the bathroom. I picked up the test and closed my eyes. I don't know if I want it to confirm what I already knew. I slowly opened my eyes.

Tears streamed down my face once more. There in my hand was the small + sign confirming all of my worries. I sank to my knees beside the toilet. What was I going to do now? I couldn't just forget about Dimitri…I had promised him. But I couldn't very much fight strigoi with a baby inside of me.

I let out a loud sob. Many images and thoughts filled my head, images of what could've been…and of what was. I saw us raising our child together, I remembered the cabin, sparing with him and beating him just before the attack…how I longed to see him reading those old western novels again, to see him cock an eyebrow at one of my sarcastic remarks. Regret flashed through me. My child will never know its father. It'll never know what a wonderful man he was…what a wonderful guardian,

I was having another breakdown, just like all of the others. I was able to make it to my bed and I lay there sobbing into my pillow. Oh, Dimitri…I don't know if I could keep my promise.

I shook my head. No, I had to find Dimitri. I would find him…I have little time but I have to at least try. I promised… the baby may slow me down but I had to do this.

* * *

I slid open the cell phone I had bought shortly after I had left the academy. Adrian had insisted I'd keep contact. I let out a loud sigh, debating whether I should text him the test results. He had told me to notify him as soon as possible but I just couldn't bring myself to type in the actual words.

I had 7 missed calls, all from him of course. (No one else knew this number) No doubt he was worried about me. What would he say once I actually told him the news? Would he actually demand that I return to the academy? He wouldn't do that. He couldn't I was 18, free to make my own choices…though he could always cancel my credit card. That would suck…

I held my breath as I typed in the words I desperately wished weren't true. "It was positive…" I clicked the green send button then closed the phone. He would know what I meant.

I let out another sigh and threw myself back onto the bed. I couldn't go back to the academy. If I turned back now, I'd have to wait 5 years to be able to search for him again. I shook my head, I couldn't wait that long.

My cell phone began to vibrate, I slid it open again.

One New Message: Adrian

"Rose, I'm coming to get you."

I shot up from the bed, what was he talking about? He couldn't come get me…not yet.

I replied. "No, I'm fine."

I couldn't let him take me back. Not until I've done what I had left to do. The phone vibrated again and I hesitated before opening the newly received message.

"I'm sorry little dhampir but I can't let you do this, not in this condition."

What does he mean 'in this condition?' I was pregnant not dying! Who was he to decide what I can or can not do? I still have time, I can still do this.

"No." I replied. That answer wasn't going to change any time soon.

The phone vibrated again, and I wasn't looking forward to reading his reply.

"Think of the baby… Rose, this type of pregnancy has never happened before. We don't know anything about it, except that it was conceived by two dhampirs. Rose we can't discuss this over text, please call me."

I sighed. And debated whether or not I should call him. After a few seconds I had the phone held up to my ear and was waiting for his answer.

"Little dhampir?" I hadn't heard his voice since the other night when he had invaded my dream. I really didn't want to have this conversation, but I knew that waiting would only prolong the inevitable. I'd have to hear about it in my dreams and that's something that I really didn't want to deal with.

"Hey." I replied, unsure of what else to reply. "How's Liss?" I asked trying to redirect the conversation. I knew how she was…I had been trying to keep out of her head but her feelings came in loud and clear. She was still upset about me leaving.

"Not so good…how would you be if she had left you and gone after Christian?" I winced. He had a point there. He must have heard the harshness in his own voice because he immediately apologized.

"I'm sorry, it's just things aren't the same without you. Everyone's aura seems to be getting darker…especially hers. It hasn't been easy for her, she's always…I don't know but that's not the point. Rose you need to come back. Y-your going to have a baby." His voice seemed to break at the end. I knew it must be hard for him. He still liked me, and we both knew that I had been taking advantage of his feelings. I felt horrible about that, even now I was using his money.

"I can't…" was all I could say.

"Rose, it's not just your life you're putting at risk anymore. It's your baby's life too, Belikov's child. Think about it, would he really want you chasing after him, fighting strigoi like this? Think of the baby…" He was silent for a while before he spoke again. "Listen, Rose. You know I care about you… I'll do anything. I'll help you take care of it. Anything you need. Just … I can't have you out there on your own. Not like this, it was bad enough when I hadn't known you were pregnant."

I sighed, I shouldn't have told him. How stupid could I be? I should've just told him it had come out negative. That would've saved us all this trouble.

"I'm sorry." I had meant for my voice to come out strong, but instead all I managed was a small squeak. How pathetic.

"Stay where you are. At least let me help you." He replied.

"I'm not going back." I answered stubbornly.

"Ok, just let me go over there. We'll figure things out; I just don't want you to going through this alone…"

I nodded, even though I knew he couldn't see me. I wasn't in the mood to argue with him…and company would probably do me some good.

"Ok." I replied in a small voice.

He sighed in relief. "I'll get there as soon as I can, Rose. I'll see you soon, little dhampir."


	11. The Great Escape

**Wow, second update in one day. I wasn't going to write anymore today but I got into it.**

**Remember, read and review. Like I've mentioned before I get nervous when I post my writing, so I'd really like to know what you thought about it?**

**Please and Thank you, hope you like it. =)**

"Good morning, or should I say goodnight?" giggled Satchel as she stepped through the door, blood bag in hand.

I was instantly happy to see her, well mostly because she held my breakfast. She had been spending a lot of time down here with me lately. She talked…a lot. Though I'm not really complaining, I didn't mind the company. Besides the closer I got to her the more of a chance I had of her releasing me. I felt a little bad, using her this way. But Rose's safety came first, and I was ready to give up anything to make sure she remained safe.

I nodded in Satchel's direction and she rushed over. I noticed she held another bag in her hand but this one smelled of actual food.

"Shh…" she replied when she realized I was eyeing the other bag curiously.

"I figured you could use some stable food in you. You've been living off of nothing but blood since you've gotten here."

It's amazing, I hadn't even thought about food…now I found it odd that it hadn't even crossed my mind. She smiled and pulled out a small order of French fries. The aroma drifted towards my nostrils almost instantly and I had to stop myself from drooling. I was never a big fan of fast food but I couldn't even remember the last time I had eaten. Anything would taste good right about now. I'm still shocked I hadn't noticed this hunger before.

I decided to ask Satchel if this was normal.

"Why is it that I haven't been hungry till now? I hadn't even thought about food since I'd been awakened."

Her smile faded and was replaced by a frown. She thought awhile before answering, as if she were choosing her words cautiously.

"Well, that's because of the blood…strigoi are similar to moroi that way, we loose most of our appetite. Only they've been feeding you so much blood because…"

She froze, must have been silently debating whether she should be telling me this or not.

"Because?" I prompted.

She let out a small sigh but continued anyway.

"They're hoping to get you addicted." She glanced back towards the doorway to make sure no one had overheard.

"That way it'd be easier for you to stay on our side I think…I don't know. I'm not usually informed on these things. I could only tell you my best guess."

I figured if I had a chance, this was as good a time as any. It had already been a week since I'd last seen John and I doubted I'd be seeing much of Satchel while he was around. I was just about to open my mouth to say something when Satchel pulled out a small silver key from her pocket. I eyed her suspiciously…was she going to let me loose?

She glanced back towards the doorway once more and quickly placed both bags on the floor next to me and knelt down behind my back.

"W-what are you doing?" I asked in slight shock, it was what I had wanted but I hadn't expected her to just pull out the key and unlock the chains. I mean I hadn't even had a chance to ask her yet.

"I'm letting you go. I'm going to help you save your girlfriend." She replied.

"What? How do you even know about that?" I asked, instantly suspicious. Sure she had been nice to me when none of the others had…but I still didn't trust her completely.

"I heard John talking about it before… how he was hoping she'd come to us; I told you before... that I had heard about your girlfriend and that it reminded me of him?"

I nodded. I had been about to question her right before I had taken blood, but after she placed the bag to my lips all I could really think at the moment was how delicious the blood had tasted and that I wanted seconds.

"After I was turned he came after me too. He died trying to kill me…"

I winced at the thought of Rose sharing the same fate. "I'm sorry." I replied, imagining her pain, I couldn't even begin to envision Rose dying because of me… because of some stupid promise.

My arms and legs were finally free from the chains, and I stretched a bit, trying to regain feeling.

"Wow, you really are tall." She noted with a small smile.

I nodded. She picked up the two bags and handed them to me.

"Hurry, eat up. We need to get you out before John and the others return." I nodded again, lips already full as I bit down into the bag of blood. I gobbled down the fries as if there were no tomorrow, hell under these circumstances you could never be so sure.

Satchel was already out the door, I followed her, quickening my pace to catch up. My muscles were beyond sore at the moment and everything ached but now was not the time to think about that. I was finally going to see Rose. She'll be safe…and once she's safe…I might allow her to keep her promise. I sighed. Oh Roza…

We were outside already. I was shocked to see that no one had been in the house, or at least not anywhere I could see. It had been way to easy…

"So where do we start first?" asked Satchel. I glanced over at her. I wasn't going to bring her along.

"Thanks for all of your help, Satchel. I am eternally grateful but I will continue my mission alone." I didn't want to sound rude; I really did owe her a lot. But I couldn't risk Rose's safety… I still didn't trust Satchel even after what she had done.

"What?...b-but I got you out, you won't survive out there without me. You won't be able to find blood or a place to stay when the sun rises." She had a point, and I debated whether or not I should risk bringing her along. What if she was using me to lead John and the others to Rose? It wasn't unlikely…our escape had been too easy.

I highly doubted she would be capable of such a thing. But I wasn't going to bet Rose's safety on that.

"Thank you but I will manage on my own. I'm sorry." I tried to keep my voice professional.

She seemed shocked and a little hurt, but I didn't allow that to get to me.

Without warning she swung her arms around my waist and held me in a tight embrace.

"Good luck and be careful." She whispered, then let go and walked back inside.

I was finally free, and on my own. I made a break for it. My goal: to get as far away from here as physically possible.


	12. Author's Note 2

**I've decided to morph the next chapter together with Chapter 10. Since it was already in Rose's Point of view and all.**

**Just letting you guys know. =) It's been updated, so when you guys get a chance you could check it out if you want. **

**Hope you like it. Review?**


	13. In Your Dreams

**Please, review. This chapter took me a while and I wasn't entirely sure about it, so I kinda need you guys to help me with that.**

**Did you like it? Was it good? Crappy?**

**Remember, I appreciate compliments as well as criticism. =) Thanks guys, enjoy!**

I'd been running for hours, I wasn't sure where I was going but I knew that I had to get as far away from that place as physically possible, then I'd worry about figuring out where I was and what I would do next.

I started to slow down, as I looked up into the night sky. By the location of the moon, I could tell that I still had a few more hours of moonlight left. I needed to find a place to spend the day. I let out a small sigh; I knew I would miss the sun. Even though I barely saw much of it as a dhampir, the knowledge that I would never be able to step into the sunlight again was tough. But that was the least of my worries. Right now finding her was my one and only concern.

I had no money so a hotel room or an actual bed was out of the question. I'd have to find some dark, secluded place to hide away till the sun went down. I quickened my pace again and scanned the area as I ran, this forest seemed familiar but then again, don't they all?

I found my way back to the caves…the same ones I had been awakened in, where I had last seen her. I hadn't noticed that it was only miles from where I had been held hostage… but when the sun came up they wouldn't be able to search here. I was safe for now and even with the slight chance that they did find me, I was loose and no longer helpless. Even without a weapon I still had a chance.

I stood in the same place I had last seen her…where I had last heard her scream. I sank to my knees and curled up in that spot, remembering her face; the night of Victor's lust charm, the first time I held her close to me, the first time I had laid eyes on her, the night I pulled Zeklos off of her in the room, that was when I first realized how strongly I felt about her. I allowed my memories of her to fully engulf me, as I lay there slowly drifting into a light slumber.

I was in a garden, the sun beamed down illuminating the flowers. That's when I realized I was dreaming. That or I was dead, considering the sun didn't seem to harm me.

"Dimitri… " I flinched a little at the sound of her voice. You'd figure I'd be used to seeing her in my dreams by now. Yep, it was definitely a dream.

I turned around to see her sitting on a bench in the middle of the garden. She wore a long white dress and for a second she could easily be mistaken for an angel. It wouldn't even surprise me if I was dead at this point, though I knew I wasn't. I sighed, this could be heaven, it was definitely beautiful enough to be and she fit right in to her surroundings. My beautiful Roza…

I blinked back a few tears as I slowly approached her. She stood and closed the distance between us. We held each other in a tight embrace before she let go and stared into my eyes…the pain I saw in her features was heart breaking. I knew what she was seeing now…she was seeing a monster. She saw my red rimmed eyes, and possibly saw the thirst that was building up inside them again.

"Dimitri…" she repeated again, this time her voice was a whisper as she broke down into tears. I couldn't hold back my tears any longer. They flowed down my cheeks and I held her again.

"Oh Roza!" she clung to me as I held back a sob.

"I've missed you so much…Dimitri, I don't know what I'm going to do!" she cried into my chest.

"It's ok, honey…I'm here, I'm here right now…I'm looking for you."

She glanced back up into my eyes. "Dimitri…I-I'm going to have your baby…I need to…I need to find you…before it's to late…I need to kill you!" she gasped in between sobs.

I pulled her back into my chest, she was shaking now. I hated to see her like this… so broken…I had done that. That's when something clicked, what she had just said…she was going to have my baby!

"Rose…" I jumped at the voice, and Rose looked back.

"Adrian?" she asked, she was almost as shocked as I was by his appearance.

I knew he was a dream walker, but he had never invaded my dreams before. It was probably just a coincidence, he wouldn't enter one of my dreams…especially now. No this was defiantly just further proof that these were not real…anything can happen in dreams.

Adrian seemed shocked himself.

"How are you in her dreams?" he demanded.

I stepped back. What? What was he saying?

"I'm not in her dream, she's in mine…and so are you." I cleared up.

He shook his head. "You're not just another dream object…your aura, its- you're real."

"W-what?" that was all I could say. This wasn't happening.

He glanced back at Rose who was now gawking at him.

"What do you mean he's real? This is just a dream, like all the others. It's not happening." She glanced back and forth between the two of us.

"You mean he's been here before?" asked Adrian, without taking his eyes off of me.

Rose nodded. "I've been dreaming about him since…then."

I shivered, "She…she's been in my dreams since then too." I was now staring at Adrian as though he held all of the answers in the world. I needed to know what was happening.

He bit his lip in thought. "Hmm, interesting…."

That's when something inside my head, clicked. If this was real, I needed to warn her.

"Ivashkov, I need you to do me a favor." He stared into my eyes suspiciously.

When he didn't answer, I took that as a sign to continue.

"Prove this to me, come to me in my dreams tomorrow… I need proof that this is real."

He stared for a few seconds, thinking it over. Finally he nodded.

I glanced back towards her. I saw confusion mixed with pain in her eyes; she didn't know whether to hug me or to stab me.

"If this is real…Roza, I need to tell you something." I paused, replaying the words in my head before continuing. "I still love you… I need to keep you safe. You have to return to the Academy, they're after you… they want to use you to get to Lissa. They were originally using me to lure you to them…he knows your after me. But I escaped…I don't know if their still after you, but Lissa's the one they really want. You need to go back to her Rose…you need to stay safe."

I glanced towards her stomach…she was no longer the only person I needed to worry about.

"Dimitri…I"

My eyes snapped open, I was no longer in the garden, I was back in the caves now.

It was night now, I had overslept. I silently cursed myself for not waking on time. I wasn't sure the time, but I knew I had to move fast. They could have easily tracked me here. I got up, and felt a little dizzy.

I needed blood…


	14. Christian's Inferno!

**Sorry I've kept you guys waiting. Haven't been able to type much since my last update, but I was able to type today! Hope you like this chapter, I didn't have much time to review it, like I'd like to but I hope you guys still like it.**

**Review please?**

**Rose's POV**

"Dimitri…I"

I woke up with a jolt, and before I even had time to think I instantly leaned over the side of the bed and puked my guts out.

"Eww…" I muttered as I silently forced myself out of bed and into the bathroom. I pulled out one of the extra rolls of toilet paper from under the sink and began to clean the vomit off of the floor.

It smelled nasty and I made a mental note to ask one of the house cleaning ladies for some febreze. I froze and my thoughts quickly returned to what had occurred in my dream. It couldn't have actually happened; it was probably just another dream…only this time Adrian was there.

I slowly picked up my cell phone and typed in "Was that real?"

My thumb circulated around the send button a few times before actually pressing it, almost dreading the response. Part of me wanted him to be real, but then another part of me wanted him to be just another dream. How could I kill him, when he seemed so much like the Dimitri I loved? When he was the Dimitri I loved? How could I keep my promise to him?

Strigoi were supposed to be evil, to loose all trace of the person they used to be… they only wanted death and blood… that's what I had always been taught ever since I was old enough to walk, we all knew these things. It was part of our training as dhampirs.

My thoughts returned to the day Dimitri and I had driven for about 5 hours to take my Qualifier, an exam all novice guardians were required to pass during junior year. Since I had been….absent that year, I had missed mine. I was going to meet Arthur Schoenberg, one of the greatest Strigoi slayers in living guardian history. He was actually the one who was going to issue my exam, so we were traveling over to him rather then the other way around.

That was the day that I had realized that everything was changing…everything I had ever known. We had arrived at the house where the royal family Arthur protected lived, only to discover that he along with all of the members of the household had been unexpectedly slaughtered by strigoi…not the best scene to walk into. Later we realized that the strigoi had been assisted by humans and that they were beginning to flock together, something that was also unheard off.

I've had nearly all of my core beliefs challenged since then…

I was impregnated by a dhampir, impossible. I occasionally see ghosts on a daily bases, also impossible. My best friend can bring back the dead and heal the sick, impossible. An alcoholic moroi had a habit of invading my dreams and reading peoples auras, impossible. But they were true…they had all happened and I was beginning to slowly accept them as reality. How many more surprises was I in for? Because I'm honestly not sure how much more I can handle…maybe I would end up like Shadow Kissed Ana.

My phone vibrated fiercely in my hand and I jumped. I had forgotten that I was still holding it. I slid it open and opened the message from Adrian.

"Yes…Rose, I'm leaving the hotel now, I should be there in about an hour. Stay put, we need to talk."

I didn't reply. I slid the phone closed again and tossed my phone onto the bed.

I needed to clear my mind… there was too much going on right now.

I sank into the sofa and worked on clearing my mind. Not a very easy task, well for me at least.

Within a few minutes I was inside Lissa's head. Something I hadn't really been counting on, though it should've been obvious. The mental barriers I had been holding up crumbled when I cleared my mind.

_Oh yeah, add that to my impossible list. My best friend and I have a one way bond. I could feel everything she was going through and can occasionally slip inside her head._

I took in my surroundings, well her surroundings. We were in the church attic. She was sitting in front of Christian. I instantly felt the stinging around her wrists. She glanced down at them; her tears were streaming down her eyes uncontrollably.

"I have to find her!" she almost screamed.

Christian closed his eyes. I could tell he was trying to calm himself down and so could Lissa, but she didn't care.

She seized the moment his eyes were closed and dashed towards the stairs but he caught up to her and seized her by the wrists. She winced at the pain.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to grab you there." He apologized quickly, as he turned her around and cut off her path to the stairs.

"Let me go!" she yelled. She needed to run away, she needed to find me again, I was the only thing that kept her sane and she had been refusing to take her anti depressant pills.

"No!" he boomed, finally losing his patience with her. I could tell that this was an old argument and that he had been able to keep her from leaving the academy the previous times. But Lissa wasn't planning on letting him win this time.

"She needs me!"

"I'm not going to let you screw up your life! Rose is fine on her own and you know that! It was her choice and we should honor it!" he retorted.

"I need to find her!" she wasn't about to let him convince her otherwise, memories of me flashed through her eyes, and she bit back a sob.

"Lissa…" he sighed, rubbing his forehead slowly, obviously trying to figure out what to do. His blue eyes burning into hers, she could see how much pain she was causing him right now. But she couldn't let that bother her now. She needed to find me, and if he wasn't going to be on her side, then fine. She'd find away to do this herself.

"I could take care of myself, Christian." She hissed, yanking her arm away from him. I've never felt her so distant. So much anger and sorrow…just like that time when she tortured Jesse. I had taken it away from her then…and I had the same urge to just reach in and take away the darkness from her again. But this time I wasn't really there. It wouldn't work…

The rage inside Christian finally exploded and I caught a glimpse of the flower pot behind him catch flames. Lissa held back the urge to reach out and heal it. She had been working on that plant before with Adrian and it seemed a shame.

"Just because Rose ran off on some impossible suicide mission doesn't mean I'll let you do the same! At least she has the training to keep herself safe, but what about you? How would you protect yourself out there without her?! I'm not going to loose you, Lissa. You're all I have!" He was grabbing her shoulders now and shaking her lightly. I felt some more of her tears spill and I couldn't take it anymore. I had to at least try to remove some of the darkness from her. All of her pain and sorrow…it was all my fault. I had to help her.

She pushed him away and he staggered back a few steps. I reached out to the darkness and attempted to take it away, just like I had those many times before. Only this time it didn't vanish. I couldn't do anything for her from here…suddenly I was pushed out.

I sat there, back in the hotel sofa. So much for clearing my mind, how could I have done that to her? I shook my head, no she knew I had to do this; for once can't things be about me instead of her?

No, they come first. They always come first. I sighed…it wasn't her fault, it was spirit. But what was I going to do now?

My thoughts returned to my dream…to him. What had he been telling me?

I struggled to remember. I knew it was important…

I gasped as his words echoed in my mind.

_"I still love you… I need to keep you safe. You have to return to the Academy, they're after you… they want to use you to get to Lissa."_

I fought to remember the rest, but couldn't. But I knew Adrian would.


	15. Author's Note 3

**I know you guys don't like these Author Notes but bare with me on this one. =)**

**Author's Note:**

**Sorry I haven't updated in a LONG time. I've been pretty busy with school starting. I'm working on the next chapter now so it should be up pretty soon. Maybe sometime this weekend or next week…**

**On another note, who here has finished Blood Promise?! I finished it yesterday!!!!!! It was so….so… I DON'T EVEN KNOW! Lol if you haven't read it, sprint to your nearest bookstore and buy it NOW! If you have finished it send me a personal message please, or just review saying you have and I'll message back. (None of my friends have finished it yet and I'm dyeing to talk to someone about it! . I don't want to spoil it for them so I have purposely been avoiding all conversations that may lead to me accidently opening my big mouth.)**

**Anyway, I really am sorry I haven't updated yet. Feel free to let me know what you think might happen next. Like I've said before, I have a pretty good idea where I'm going with this fic but I'd like to know where you guys think it's going.**

**Please and thank you! =P**


	16. A Soulless Monster

**Please Review and let me know what you think. =) I know it's been a while and I'm sorry, I've been pretty busy. But hey, atleast I updated now right? Lol. Well anyway please let me know if you like it or not, much like most of my chapters I'm never sure about them when I post them up. I rely on you guys to tell me wether it was good or not. **

I'm a monster…

I sank down to my knees. I couldn't believe I had just done that. The body fell limp on the floor. This…this wasn't happening.

I struggled to remember what I had just done.

I was hiding out in an abandoned building in the city. The whole purpose of it was to keep myself away from humans in the first place. I studied the body in front of me and winced. I had killed him…I-I can't even remember.

He looks as though he had only been around 17…his life was just getting started. He must have wandered in to explore… or on a dare. I just… how did this happen? It's just not possible. I remember hunger and thirst…then everything goes black and now I find myself…I shuddered.

What had I done?! It couldn't have been that easy to loose it…it, no I can never be normal. I can't go after Rose like this… it's too dangerous. What if I loose myself again, just like I had now?

I'm disgusted with my self…this was just…I couldn't have done this, there was no way. I kept trying to replay the memory but there was nothing…It was all black.

My eyes squeezed shut, what do I do now? I had to leave…I had to get somewhere far away where I can't hurt anyone else…

I lay down and curled up on the floor. The sun should be up soon. I sighed,

Supposing the dreams I had been having were real, Adrian should be visiting tonight…or rather today. My thoughts drifted, were our dreams really connected? If so, then how? How was that even possible? I bit my lower lip unconsciously, almost forgetting about my fangs. I wiped some of the blood off of my lip with my shirt.

I let out yet another sigh, maybe I was just going crazy and that was why I almost always saw her in my dream…that's obviously the most reasonable explanation. My subconscious mind wishes to see her. No, not even. My conscious mind wishes to see her, to hold her.

Numerous questions bounced around my head and after awhile I drifted into a dream, hoping I might see her again.

I was now standing in a hallway. I looked around, it was empty, no one in sight. I almost jumped when a door flew open. Adrian stood before me, and invited me in-well more like grabbed me by the shirt and yanked me in- closing the door behind hus.

Recognition flooded my thoughts. This had been his room, back at the ski resort. The hallway had been the Ivashkov wing.

I had only been in this room once before, I had been passing by and I found Rose and Lissa in there.

**Flash Back**

I was on my way to visit Guardian Hathaway, to look over some new data about the recent strigoi attack when I had heard Rose. What was she doing in the Ivashkov wing? I came to a stop at the opening in the door. This was Adrian's room what was she doing in there. A sudden sense of urgency raced through my veins. Why would she be in_ his _room?

Adrian's teasing voice rang into the hallway. "Ladies, ladies, no need to fight over me."

"We're not. I just want to know what's going on here" replied Rose.

I entered and stood in the doorway, making my self known. "Me too."

Rose jumped at the sound of my voice. She spun around, eyes meeting mine. I had no doubt she was up to no good. My Roza, always seemed to get herself into all sorts of trouble. Although when I saw Lissa standing there with her, well that caught me a little off guard. I entered the room, and stepped past her, looking between the three of them.

"Male and female students aren't supposed to be in each other's rooms."

Knowledge that Adrian wasn't exactly a 'student' crossed my mind and I half expected Rose to comment on that fact, instead she turned to Adrian.

"How do you keep doing this?" she asked him, frustration written all over her face.

"Do what?"

"Keep making us look bad!"

Adrian let out a small chuckle. "You guys are the ones that came here."

"You shouldn't have let them in." I reprimanded. "I'm sure you know the rules at St. Vladimir's."

Adrian shrugged off my words. "Yeah, but I don't have to follow any school's stupid rules."

"Perhaps not," I answered coldly "But I thought you'd still respect those rules."

Adrian rolled his eyes. "I'm kind of surprised to find _you_ lecturing about underage girls."

I bit back my anger, and kept myself as calm as possible. Having to resist the urge to punch him in the jaw, what kind of example would I be setting for Rose after all of our lectures on self control? I managed to keep myself composed, but couldn't keep my fists from clenching.

"Besides," He continued, "nothing sordid was going on, we were just hanging out."

"If you want to 'hang out' with young girls, do it at one of the public areas."

Adrian began to laugh, almost hysterically-a strange kind of skin crawling laugh that I hadn't expected.

"Young girls? Young girls? Sure, young and old at the same time. They've barely seen anything in life, yet they've already seen too much. One's marked with life, the others marked with death…but _they're_ the ones your worried about? Worry about yourself dhampir. Worry about you, and worry about me. We're the ones who are young."

I'm not exactly sure what had come over him but he had a crazy sort of glint in his eye. Rose and Lissa seemed shocked as well. But as sudden as his glint had appeared, it was gone.

He seemed perfectly normal-well as far as 'normal' goes for Ivashkov- and calm again. He strolled casually towards his window, as he pulled out his cigarettes.

"You ladies should probably go. He's right I am a bad influence."

Lissa and Rose exchanged abrupt looks then quickly followed me down the hall toward the lobby.

"That was…strange." said Rose after a few minutes.

"Very." I agreed. What had come over him? I shook those thoughts away. It didn't really matter now; I needed to talk to Rose.

When we reached the lobby, Rose almost began to follow Lissa back to their rooms but I stopped her.

"Rose. Can I talk to you?" I asked.

She turned towards me and stepped off to the side of the room, out of the way of those passing through.

"That's Adrian Ivashkov." I stressed the name in the same way everyone else did. Adrian didn't exactly have a very good reputation when it concerned women and alcohol.

"Yeah, I know."

"This is the second time I see you with him."

"Yeah" she replied glibly. "We hang out sometimes."

I cocked an eyebrow, turning my head back towards the Ivashkov wing. "You hang out in his room a lot?"

"What happens between him and me is none of your business." I almost flinched at the old words I had used while making a similar comment about Tasha and I.

I tried not to dwell on it and kept my voice at a professional level. I was her mentor, nothing more. "Actually as long as you're at the Academy, what you do _is_ my business."

"Not my personal life. You don't have any say in that" she retorted.

"You're not an adult yet."

"I'm close enough. Besides it's not like I'll magically become an adult when I turn 18."

"Clearly" I replied almost instantly regretting my words. I hated arguing with her…

"That's not what I meant. I meant-"

"I know what you meant." I interrupted. "And the technicalities don't matter right now. You're an academy student. I'm your instructor. It's my job to keep you safe. Being in the bedroom of someone like _him_… well, that's not safe." Student and instructor…that's all we can be. I almost lost myself in her eyes until her next comment brought me back to reality.

"Speaking of personal lives… I suppose you were off visiting Tasha, huh?"

I held back a sigh. "Actually, I was visiting your mother."

"You going to hook up with her too?"

'Oh, Rose, Rose what am I going to do with you?' I thought to myself giving her a weary glance.

"No we were looking over some new data about the Strigoi in the Drozdov attack."

I probably shouldn't be mentioning any of this to a student, but she was right. She was responsible, and I shouldn't be treating her as a child. Besides she had a right to know.

Her expression grew serious. "What'd you find out?" she asked quietly.

"We've managed to track some of the Strigoi."

**End of Flashback**

Standing in this room now almost brought tears to my eyes. Why had I waited so long to openly act on my feelings for her? How could I have possibly thought that I could put any moroi's life ahead of hers?

I had to wait till the end to actually act on my feelings. We had everything figured out… I shook my head, no use feeling sorry for myself.

"How do you enter her dreams?"

I jumped at the sound of his voice. I had almost forgotten about him, I had been so lost in my own thoughts that I hadn't noticed him standing right in front of me.

"I- I don't know. It just happens, sometimes she's in my dreams, and sometimes she's not."

He almost glared at me. "Your aura seems… I'm not sure. There's a few shadows, but not as many as Rose's. It's faded...Strigoi don't usually keep their auras. I don't understand why you still have yours."

His expression seemed curious, with a mixture of anger. I wasn't sure why though, it's not like I was entering her dreams on purpose, or anybody else's for that matter. I still wasn't even sure I believed any of this was even real, maybe I really was going insane.

Adrian glared at me. "You've put Rose through enough pain as it is, she has to many things going on right now. What, with the hunting you down, the pregnancy and leaving her best friend. You showing up in her dreams every other night …she just doesn't need that right now."

I nodded. He was right to a certain extent. Pregnancy… I would've been a father. I never thought that to be possible…not with Rose at least. I repressed a sigh, thoughts of what could've been the future racing through my head. Raising out child together, teaching him or her everything we knew…

I shook those thoughts out of my head.

"Listen, Adrian. I was able to escape the strigoi who changed me… he was planning on using me to lure Rose, in order to capture Lissa. You have to make sure she goes back to the Academy, she'll be safe there. Away from them…and away from me." I fought back some more tears. These past weeks have really taken quite an emotional toll on me. "Tell her… tell her I'll miss her, and that as soon as I find a way to kill them…I'll come back to her and let her do what she has been hunting me for. As for the dreams, I don't know how to make those stop."

Adrian studied me for a few moments; shock and confusion written all over his face.

"I- I believe you. Your aura shows your emotions and I can feel your telling me the truth." He sighed. "I just don't understand…your strigoi but you still have a soul…you still have an aura. It's not supposed to be possible." His eyebrows narrowed in frustration as he thought this over.

The whole soul thing was actually news to me. These past weeks I had been considering myself a soulless monster. My thoughts returned to the boy from earlier…the one I had apparently killed. No… I was still a monster. At least a part of me must be.

My surroundings began to blur and so did Adrian. "Keep her safe!" I shouted, before the dream faded away, not sure whether he heard me or not.

**Whatcha think? Good? Crappy? Whatever? Do you like everything so far? Hate it? Cause I can't know till you tell me. It won't take long.**


End file.
